One Moment of Doubt

Just as we were going towards the gym, we looked out of the windows. A clear sky after days inspired Deva to suggest going out for a jog rather than the usual stuff at the gym. So off we (me, Deva, Bob) were for our sojourn.

Crossy, as it is called here, is not new for me. I have run a lot, participated in all crossy events that have been organized here. It’s a simple sport which needs just a few basic things – complete idea of your body, breath control and determination to complete the race come what may.

I started with all the determination in the world to complete the whole lap. It sums up to around three and a half kilometers. I started slow, trying to gauge my optimal speed and pace up my heartbeat accordingly. It took half a kilometer to get into my rhythm. Then the heartbeat, the breathing and the steps all fall into a beautiful rhythm. Then on, it’s all about not giving up, not tiring mentally and just going on. It all seemed set for me. More than half the lap was over when Deva began to tire and got left behind (just the story bro, don’t take it anyways..). Short while later, Bob too got left behind and I was all alone by myself to complete the race.

Another thing about crossy here – it is pretty easy to just keep on running with others. But when alone, you have almost every reason in the world to give up. Still I was motivated. I knew deep down inside, I could do it. I had done it before. I went on. The hostel was in sight now. Only the last 100 meters or so were left. One small incline and I would be done. But just before the start of the incline, there was a stray thought in my mind that I would not be able to complete the lap even now. It was totally stray, had no significance. After all I could see my hostel gates. Less than 80 meters remained.

Next thing I knew I had missed a breath, then a step and lost the rhythm. It was all over for me. In a crossy it is impossible to start once you have stopped even for a single step. I had lost it. One moment of doubt, one moment of weakness had changed my story of "almost a victory" to defeat. And the modus of the defeat hurt.

In many ways, this is a big big lesson learnt......

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