Maa...

There are times when you are low. When you feel everything in the world is conspiring just against you. No matter how hard you try, you end up losing. Not once but a series of times. There are times when you feel you have nowhere to return to, nowhere to find recluse in.

There are days when you can’t sleep at night no matter how hard you try. You try and cocoon yourself, become lonely and stay to yourself. It is then that sadness sets in.

You don’t want to be near friends because of the fear of being judged. They might not be out judging or commenting on you but you are so occupied with your failures and sadness you can’t see beyond that. You don’t want to talk to your siblings because they just adore you and you don’t want to change that; at least not me. Your father is someone who pushes you all your life - towards success, towards victory. He is not one who can understand your losses, fears and hurts.

That leaves you with just one person in the whole world. Your mother. She is the only person who will never judge you, neither will her love wither with your failures or increase with your success. All she cares for is your happiness, your smile and you. Just having her around tells you that all will be fine, that everything is okay. The one moment when you put your head in her lap, that one moment when she gently caresses your head with all the love in the world, that one moment is worth anything in this world. She may not be able to help you with your troubles; maybe she may not be able to even understand them. But mothers have an assuring way by which they comfort you.

Maybe it’s called Unconditional Love.

I am lucky enough to have a mother who not only has done all this but much more. Still I haven’t had the most pleasant relationship with her. At least not one in which I can talk my heart out to her. I know she can even understand my fears, stand by me when needed and much more. But still… I cannot talk to her. Not on the phone… Right now only I know how badly I miss her. Ahh…

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