So finally it happens. Not one but two things at once. I finally watched the movie after hoping and planning to see it for weeks. And yeah I did one thing I thought I would never do - Watching a movie all alone. Both were a pleasant surprise. The second mainly because the movie was such a delight and on a subject so close to my heart – children, the most fascinating thing (or should I say beings) on earth. Undoubtedly so. And I am glad I watched it alone, I watched it without any inhibitions of shedding a drop of tear or two…
I am not going to praise the movie here – lots been said and loads of accolades already showered on it. It deserves more. But I’ll let others do it.
Every child is special. Rightly so, simply for the unbundled, unlimited joy that he brings to the world. Everything else is just trivial.
The movie is about a dyslexic child. And how a teacher brings out the painting genius in him. The message is simple – with extra care and affection a child can do wonders. But there are greater underlying issues which we will tend to miss.
Any and every child needs someone who can understand him just the way he is. No questions asked, no judgment delivered. The comfort of knowing that you have someone to bank upon no matter what goes wrong in the world gives the child the freedom to just float in the world of his imagination. Then the child can be himself – that is a child. Full of energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and yes Joy. And spreading these unabashedly around. But this needs special care – being there whenever he needs it, whenever he is scared, whenever he has a weird question to ask, whenever he feels alone. Many a time he will not come up and share his feelings and fears. These are the times when he needs someone around the most. Just a little sensitivity will do the trick. It is not rocket science, just good old “unconditional love”. There is no better feeling in this world than “knowing that you are loved”.
It is easy blame the parents for being too harsh on children, for being worried when they don’t perform well enough and getting angry. I don’t think I can put the blame entirely on them. It is just that they are bothered and worried about the future of the child. Having gone through the grinds of life and this mad world, they do have every reason to be bothered. Only the best stand out. Mediocrity has no place in this world, at least not an enviable one. Almost every parent has already gone through tough times, seen some of their dreams shattered. Life isn’t what we would like it to be. It’s not a perfect world and unfortunately for the child, the parents learn it the hard way. Everybody learns it the hard way.
When parents get mad at their children, it is their own fears coming to the fore. Having been through all the hardships, they do not want the same happening to their children. They want to secure a bright and successful career for their children. Hence they tend to push their children towards studies and sports – the surest way of a good life.
What they miss out is that in doing so they kind of ruin the childhood of the kid. Childhood is not price enough even for a lifetime of success. Childhood is innocence, beauty and joy. No one has the right to take that away. No one. Not even the parents.
In all fairness the intent is good. It’s just that the intent is manifested through anger and frustration but the fall out on the kid isn’t good. It can push him into a corner, make him rebellious and alone. And in the process take his imagination, freedom and creativity away. All the anger and pushing may (or might not) achieve what the parents intended, but what is lost is much more.
The idea then should not be to push them into it. Instead a better plan would be gradually prepare them for this world. Getting mad at not being the first in the class is hardly the way. Even the toppers have their share of failures. No one can escape failure. At best, we can be prepared to face it and most importantly stand up again.
Life is all about finding your passion and doing great at it. Once you have found your passion, the only thing that can stop you from being the best at it is your own attitude and laziness. Parents instead of pushing the children towards something (a career) should try and give the child all the creative freedom in the world and rather focus on imbibing the virtues and the attitudes which will see him excel in any which field he chooses. With the freedom that he is allowed, the child will someday soon realize what his true passion is. Then on, it’s all about how well you can go about pursuing your dreams. But you need to dream for yourself and then work to see them come true. The thing which makes sure you achieve what you dream is positive attitude, hard work and a happy mind. And we should not undermine the importance of a happy mind. Mind is much more receptive and creative when it’s happy.
Don’t really know. People somehow lose the child that is inside them in the wilderness of this world. If only they kept the child in them alive they might just be able to understand children better. And be happier…