I Quit…

Not the best of words to say. But talk about cigarettes, and they probably are the sweetest words to hear. Yes, once I was a chain smoker. Nothing less than ten would do. A pack was nothing outrageous. Yet I quit. And I tell you, it isn’t an easy thing to do. Well, of all those who try, roughly 3% are able to. Or so say the statistics. C’mon a pat on my back won’t do you much harm. C’mon…

Anyways, I never liked myself smoking. Rather hated myself for it. I knew very well about all the ills of smoking. Don’t know why I still smoked. Maybe it had to do with my negative state then, maybe the addictive powers of nicotine (it is the most addictive substance known to man). I must have tried to quit smoking at least once every month of the one year I smoked. But I always succumbed to my urge and need for that one puff. Mind always cheated me saying “just one puff, your body just can’t take it anymore without it. Promise this will be just one.” That would be the beginning of the defeat. Tried many things to help me quit. Read extensively over the net to find out ways. Looked all over my city for nicotine gums or patches and found none.

Every time I tried to quit smoking, I now realize, I did not have sufficient will to do it. Or maybe I was too sad and depressed about life to bother if I lived or not. But I got lucky. Found someone who loved me despite my obvious flaws. And thank god for that… One lucky chap I am… She didn’t say much, just that “Your quitting smoking would be the best gift you could ever give me.” Love her too much to not do it for her.

Despite that, it wasn’t easy to quit smoking. It never is, not even for the occasional smoker. Bloody thing, enslaves you to its high. The worst part is that it after a time, it doesn’t even give you a high. You need a puff to even feel normal. Hence the “that bad” an urge to smoke. Over the one year period that I did smoke, I had mastered ‘trying to quit smoking’. Read and found out everything that you can about cigarette and nicotine. There are some pretty scary facts about them. But they command a separate post and also I don’t want to scare people. But all of it means just one thing – if you smoke, try and quit now. Some say gradually reducing the number of cigarettes per day works, some say stopping altogether works better. You got to try which one works best for you. Reducing did not work for me. One fine day I got up and decided that no matter what, I won’t have a puff again in life. I have kept that promise to myself till now. And I know I will – always.

I had loads of problems. After a couple of hours of getting up, my head started hurting like hell, felt like it would burst open. But I knew things would get only worse from here on for a couple of days. Okay, nicotine and carbon monoxide become a part of the system of a smoker. The body needs it. But the best thing is that the body eliminates them in 48 hours after the last smoke. I knew I had to resist the first two days, it was the body against the mind and I could not let the mind lose. I tried many tricks – coffee, chocolates etc... Even called her up on stupid pretexts and just kept talking. Somehow I did manage to scrape through the two days. The battle now on would be psychological - resisting the urge to smoke. It was a test of my will now on. I could not afford to go weak and lose out to the deceiving mind even for a second. I don’t know what saw me through, but this one time I can happily claim “I won. I quit…”