Lost and Found

Sitting on a rock between the two streams, half way down the waterfall I had just climbed down, I paused to look up. Sun pouring through the leaves, rhythm of water hitting the rocks, occasional chirping of birds; all combined to give a sense of serenity not found in the humdrums of life. The feeling seemed so alien, I felt lost. I had not felt this way in a long time, probably in a different life. I felt united with nature, as if we could communicate at that moment; as if it were calling me to become one with it.

A sense of calm engrossed me, as if nothing but the moment mattered. There was no room for stress, headaches, jobs, and other details which tend to be our lives. I felt invigorated, almost enthralled. I hadn’t felt so energetic in years. Mind you, we had hiked twice the day before, and I hadn’t even jogged for over two years. I don’t know what possessed me; I started climbing the waterfall, opposite to the falling water. I just needed to know I could do it. One slip and I would have been at the bottom of the pit. But the risks didn’t matter. I needed to know I had life left in me; the sheer will that makes you do the impossible.

We might philosophize as much we want, and rationalize our actions and our life choices, but moments like these that make life worth living. I wish they weren’t so far and few in between…
Life takes us through a lot - tough situations, challenges, defeats, and some sweet victories. Through it all, everything that happens to us adds something to us, teaches us something, changes us a little.  We evolve, for better or for worse.
But real victory lies in not letting situations or events change our real self - our soul. If only it were as easy as it is to write about it. I guess, we have to be strong enough, and know ourselves intimately to finally emerge victorious.
I don't know if any of this will make any sense to anyone, but to me it means a lot...

Zindagi tere ghum ne humen, rishte naye samjhaye...

Zindagi kya hai?

Shayad ye sawal hi galat hai. Iske alawa koi aur jawab sahi bhi nahi lagta...

Hansi? Khushi?  Sukh? Dukh? Safalta? Nirasha? Ummed? Himmat? Rishte? Tanhayi? Akhir kya hai ye zindagi?

Kabhi samajh kyon nahi aati? Samajhna zaroori hai kya? Samajh ke hi kya haasil hoga?

Ghum ka lekin meri zindagi se ek alag sa rishta hai... Shayad pyar hai ise mujhse. Shayad mujhe bhi ho gaya ho. Kehte hain naa kisi ke saath bahut din reh lo to uski aadat pad jaati hai...

Lekin kuch bhi kaho, ghum humse agar kuch chura le jaata hai to shayad kuch samjha bhi jaata hai. Jaise khud se khud ka rishta...

Sawal phir bhi barkarar hai - "Kya hai ye zindagi..." Shayad is sawal ka jawab naa dhoondh ke zindagi jeena hi sahi jawab hai...

100 Things I want to do in Life...

Sometime in my fourth year, I once read a blog or something, in which the author challenged us to write the 100 things you want to do in life, and then actually do it. His idea was that we hardly know what we want to do in life, and instead of doing things that matter to us, we just let life drift by. So challenged, I took out my diary and started writing. And Surprise!!! Surprise!!! I could not get beyond 41...
So I thought why not look at it again and see what all have I done, and what more do I want to do... So here's the original list. (Things too personal have been hid on purpose)

1. Change *****
2. Write @ ****
3. Marry M
4. Write some more....
5. Travel along the Himalayas
6. Learn to play the guitar
7. Learn to play the violin
8. Get in perfect health
9. Travel to Barcelona
10. Travel to Paris
11. Travel to Vienna
12. Hitchhike once
13. Learn to play Squash
14. Run a full marathon
15. Own a house in Sikkim
16. Own a Fiat Palio...
17. Own a Macbook
18. Read all of Philosophy
19. Become an excellent cook
20. Read the dictionary
21. Travel through India
22. Travel through Europe
23. Learn to write poetry
24. Learn Boxing
25. Learn Shooting
26. Travel through Rajasthan
27. Go on a cycling expedition
28. Go on a car expedition to Laddakh
29. Never Smoke again
30. Photograph the whole of Mumbai
31. Learn Photography
32. Photograph M
33. Own a Bose Music System
34. Buy a FM 10 and a D200
35. Learn Chess
36. Learn Urdu
37. Learn Fencing
38. Learn to write by left hand
39. Learn Caligraphy
40. Travel to North East
41. Travel to unknown places and write about it.. 

So here a few more:
42. Find a job that is fun to do…
43. Watch a match at Camp Nou
44. Watch a match at Anfield
45. Understand Western Classical Music
46. Learn Spanish
47. Shoot Delhi in Black and White.
48. Learn to use my FM10
49. Master Lumix
50. Buy D7000 or equivalent… and some great lenses
51. Learn Yoga…
52. Learn to Meditate
53. Learn to control my temper
54. Find Zen…

Can’t think of any more right now, so will keep on updating this whenever I feel like. Have done a few and I know I have tried as many as I could… but loads remain… And I can do better…

Somehow I feel I will… Most of it, if not all… At least the ones that matter. 

The thing is, it's all in my own hands… Knowing that is the most empowering feeling… And the most compelling reason to do it…


"Are you Crazy???"

"No. I, just, am in love..."